Seems I've done it ... pushed through the performance anxiety. Last Saturday must have just been 'first time jitters.' I've played several shows since then with no problems at all. A thousand 'yays' for that.
Friday night I was jazzed, and the place was great, and things went swimmingly. Yesterday afternoon was the other end of the spectrum. I was most definitely not jazzed, I was exhausted and very much not in the mood to play. Then we had delays - we were all set up and ready when a herd of step dancers took over our space. We knew they were going to be performing before us, and a space had been cleared for them, but what I didn't expect is how they slid in amongst our amps and mic stands as part of their 'staging area.' I got pinned into this corner of the bar and couldn't get out, couldn't get to my drink I'd ordered, couldn't grab my jacket and go have a cigarette ... and they were on for far longer than we anticipated (we thought 10 or 15 minutes, it was more like 30 to 40 minutes).
Totally threw me off my game, I was annoyed.
Then, after we started, my monitor quit working, and the owner came over four times and told us to turn our volume down. By the time he was done, we could barely hear ourselves. If you didn't want an "Irish rock band" you shouldn't have hired us. You heard the demo.
As a last woe, the audience was less than receptive. It was something after 5:00, it was mostly a dinner crowd, and they initially just weren't that into us.
But, all that aside, things picked up. I had a couple drinks, and decided to follow advice I've been given several times - play for me, because I'm having fun - don't worry about them. And it worked. We ponied through, things got a little more jovial, and we ended up having a pretty good time.
Because the owners also mis-timed things, we had to cut our show short, which means that towards the end we were just picking and choosing songs to play, not following the set list at all, but in the end it all worked out. We met some great fans who were really into us, and may even come out to Youngstown to see us tonight or on St. Pat's.
So all's well that ends well, and the bonus? I woke up this morning, and I thought "We played Friday night. We played yesterday. Now we're going to play again today, and you know what? I'm looking forward to it!"
I think I found my musical niche. I never enjoyed playing in the band this much before, when I didn't play fiddle. Now, I'm like, "another gig? rock on!" Too cool.
My domestic life is falling apart - the house is a pig sty, dishes haven't been washed in days, laundry all over the bedroom. I hate that, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't be a rock star and a domestic goddess all at the same time. (just ignore the fact that I'm neither, it was an analogy).
I think my day job is about to fall apart as well - I was seriously behind, and knew I needed to pull a couple hours of overtime to get caught up, but there's simply no time for it. With the weekend's day/afternoon shows, there was no time to go in early and still get home in time to get ready and go to the gigs. I can't work over Monday or Tuesday because Greg will be working 12 hour days and I can't leave Tyler alone that long. Next weekend is more of the same - a show Friday night (late!) and a private party Saturday. So, the day job work is just going to have to wait till I have time to catch it up - something my boss isn't going to be very happy about, but ... I'm busy making music.
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