Well, It's Started

I have been obsessed with decorating for all of my adult life that I can remember. I seriously considered going to school to be an interior designer, but I didn't - for a couple reasons. But every place I've ever lived, I've gotten seriously into the whole redecorating thing.

Unfortunately, I've rarely been able to do anything that remotely resembles the visions in my head. First I lived in crappy apartments where I had to put up with the cheap landlord's basic starting point - nasty wallpaper, ugly carpet, etc.

When I bought my current house, I went nuts for years indulging in fantasies of all I'd do to the place. I got to do some of it - the bathroom which was gutted and completely rebuilt right after I bought the house, pursuant to my specifications from a magazine picture I'd fallen in love with (and the contractor initially argued with me that what I wanted couldn't be done ... until I showed him the pictures and said, "If you can't do it, I'll find someone who can." He did, and I've always loved it). And the major kitchen remodel which I designed myself, and have always been thrilled with.

But I haven't gotten to do much else, mostly due to a lack of money. I tried to patch things together with what I could afford, but it was never right, never really what I wanted. Later I gave up due to a loss of interest in fixing up this house, since it had so many other problems.

Now that we're getting the new house, the decorating obsession bug has bit again, big time. And I am so loving this!

I spent much of the evening staring at pictures of the Imaginarium, trying to decide what I wanted to do with it. There's so much room there, it's almost hard to know where to start. I kept looking and looking at the pictures, knowing that eventually it would start to speak to me.

It did. I focused on this area ...



... deciding I wanted to make that area to the right side there a comfy seating area. After looking awhile longer, I knew what I wanted ... something round. Yes, round. I don't know why, it just seemed like a grand idea, like something that would look really cool, and be super comfy to just fall on and relax.

So I went on an internet search, having no idea what if anything I might find. First there was this ...



... on someone's blog from almost 2 years ago. She'd seen a picture (this one, in fact) and become obsessed with getting one, but the only places she could find them, they were like $3,000. This looked close to what I had in mind, but not quite - and was way out of my price range, for now.

I continued searching, but ran into the same problem. I found this ...



... but it wasn't quite what I wanted either, and it was still expensive. Then I wondered if I could adapt a round bed to be the kind of seating I wanted, so I found this ...



... which I thought I could make work by covering it with an interesting, custom-made (by me) throw or cover, and adding big cushy pillows. But these were over $6,000!!! Umm, no. Continue searching ... and my diligence paid off, when I found this ...



... and this to go with it ...



... making the perfect round sitting area that I was looking for, with the bonus that the ottoman could be moved out of the way if I didn't want to lounge, but actually needed an actual sitting area. I figured I'd cover it with some colorful throws (just kind of tossed over, not necessarily all tucked in and formal looking) and replace the back cushions with ones I make in colorful fabrics and patterns, to spice it up. Big, fluffy, lounging cushions.

And the extra bonus - while it's not cheap, it's not thousands of dollars - $900 for both of them at http://www.atrendyhome.com/.

I'd love to just order this now, but I'm holding off, for a bunch of reasons. First, I don't want to be spending that kind of money right now until we get in the house and get settled, get the budget on track, and see what if anything else needs done (and there are a few things that do need done). Second, after I'm there for awhile, I may change my mind about wanting this type of thing. I need to give it time to settle and see if that's really it.

But ... I got an idea, went on a search, and found it. I'm so totally psyched!

The rest of the Imaginarium is slowly coming together. I'm thinking this ...



... should be the library, because it's the most uniform place to put it. I initially wanted to put it in the front section where you first walk in, and this is in the back bedroom ... but in the front section, the walls are all different heights and shapes - which I think is awesomely cool, but which doesn't lend itself well to becoming a library. This part has the two uniform, matching walls, and is a little separated area. I can put bookshelves on each side, and even beside the window, and then I'd just walk down between them, almost like shelves in a real library. I think it'll work out well. And that area is actually big enough to hold all my books. Umm, I think.

That's about as far as I got so far ... and who knows, once I get moved in, I'm liable to change my mind all over again. And that's okay. I can do that. It's my Imaginarium.

I don't usually do this ...

... but this annoyed me. I was online this morning and caught a headline: "Exxon Mobil Shatters US Record For Annual Profit." They reported a profit - profit - of $45.2 billion dollars for 2008.

This, while thousands of companies are struggling and drowning, causing millions of people to lose their jobs because their employers can't afford to pay them anymore.

Is it just me, or is there something extremely unbalanced about all this?

They always claim that the price of gas at the pump is so high because of the price of crude oil.

How exactly does the price of crude oil going up have to make gas jump to $4.00 a gallon or more while companies are posting profits of 45 billion dollars? If you're making that much money, it wouldn't seem you'd have to be so hair-trigger effected by a fluctuating crude oil market. Oh, but God forbid you'd lose a billion or two in pocket-lining profit. I don't go and ask my boss for a raise every time my home heating bill goes up (and wouldn't get it if I did). So who eats the cost? We do - the ones least able to afford it.

To add insult to injury, the article seemed to imply that "poor Exxon", despite their record-breaking profit, actually was suffering from the recession as much as the rest of us, as their net income dropped 27 percent in the fourth quarter. In other words, without the horrible economy, they'd have made much more.

I'm having a hard time feeling bad for them.

My home heating bill went from a monthly budget amount of $76.00 in 2007 to $112.00 in 2008 - an increase of 67%. I ate that loss. My 4th quarter profits were about zilch. Over the course of 2008, my expenses just about matched my income.

So I ate a 67% heating cost increase, and broke more or less even for the year. Exxon passes on to me their loss due to higher crude oil prices, and posts an obscene profit.

That's a business enterprise. This is my life. When did we start agreeing to let our very lives take a back seat to corporate greed?

And yes, I do realize that this is just capitalism, it's how we operate. It's all about the profit, and we're not supposed to 'criticize' companies for doing what the society is set up to let them do.

My point is that maybe, just maybe, "the way we've always done it" doesn't mean it's the "best way to do it," when the majority of the populace of the country is suffering to just survive, while CEOs of oil companies earn $21 million dollars cannibalizing the world.

Capitalism (at least the way we do it) encourages the "look out for number one" mentality that I think the world had better grow out of if we'd like to see anything better in our future.

The problem isn't dependence on foreign oil. The problem isn't dependence on any oil. The problem isn't "out there" at all, not the economy, not the crude oil market, not the countries of the Middle East. Just like the problem wasn't coal when the big companies exploited workers who desperately need a job, any job, enough to sell their soul to the company store to feed their children in their shoddy shacks with newspaper on the walls to keep out the snow. (I'm not just exercising creative writing; my mom grew up in coal camps; I heard the first-hand stories).

Or any number of other scenarios, there are plenty.

If we buy that tripe, then the 'next big thing' will be solar power or wind power, which someone somewhere will find a way to exploit, and in 15 or 30 or 50 years, we'll be in the same boat over another commodity. And we'll let it happen as long as we continue to believe the problem is something out there in the world, that we have to find something to replace it with to fix it.

The problem was never out there.

The problem is inside of us. The problem is short-sighted personal greed with no regard for anything or anyone else. The problem is not a 'me first' attitude, but a 'me-only' attitude. Until we learn that we're not only responsible for ourselves, we're responsible for each other, we're doomed.

Reducing dependence on oil, pursuing alternative energy sources, reducing the carbon footprint, all the green catch-phrases that are starting to make me gag over their growing fakeness of sincerity - those things are important, but for far different reasons. They aren't going to fix us. It's putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

Until our mentality grows up, we're going to continue to make the same mistakes over and over, and continue to blame it on something outside of us - something it never was.

It's Like Pennsic Packing - On Crack

My loan person told me last night that we can probably close as early as February 12th or so. Then I asked my real estate agent, and she checked with the seller's agent, and they said they have no problem with me taking possession early, as the place is empty anyway.

We could possibly be able to start moving in, in as little as two weeks.

And then it hit me.

I have 15 years worth of stuff stashed in this house. The Dread Reverend has his whole lifetime's accumulations of possessions here. There's no way in hell we can pack all this stuff to be ready to move it in two weeks. It's not that physically we can't get it there, because we can - we'll rent a truck - it's that physically I don't know how we're going to get all this stuff packed in two weeks, without working every waking hour on it. Well, it may come to that.

I thought getting packed and out to Pennsic was a treat. This blows that out of the water.

The good news is, under the current regime, no one is going to force me out of my house before I'm ready (they tried; I rebelled; I prevailed). So as long as that status quo remains, we have about two weeks to move after we get the keys to the new house. Still seems almost impossible, but I guess we'll make it work.

Eeeeeeeeeeee! (excited - can ya tell)

We Got The House!

(insert appropriate happy dance here)

After brief but intense negotiations, I ducked under my own agent's recommendation ("take the counter") and made a yet lower offer, and the sellers accepted it! And it's a price I'm extremely happy with. What's even better, I had several conversations with the loan officer today (I'm pre-approved, so financing is going to be no problem - just the technicality of going in and signing the papers), and the scenario we worked out keeps the payments amazingly low ... in a very affordable range with a nice buffer every month.

So we got a house three times the size of mine, for a very affordable payment. I couldn't be happier.

I never did get a picture of the front of the house, so I borrowed this one from the real estate website. Here it is!



It's a beautiful Cape Cod like none I've ever seen - the upstairs is more like a second story than a glorified attic - with a partial stone front. Where, you may ask, does this house fit all that room? Yeah, it's a mystery. But it's there. It's a TARDIS.

There has to be a couple flies in the ointment, though. The jerk who was supposed to buy my house for cash, which fact he told me several times, as recently as two weeks ago ... well, just as I was finding out yesterday that my counter-offer on this house was accepted, he decided he didn't want to buy my house anymore. I was devastated, as if I had to buy the new house, and maintain the mortgage on the old house while trying to sell it in this market, it was going to make things very, very, very difficult.

I kind of wigged out about it, and talked to my boss about it (my boss and this guy are life-long friends), and he also agreed that it was wrong - the guy made verbal assurances he would buy my house, which verbal assurances I acted upon when buying this house - for him to back out then was extremely bad form. So he told me he'd talk to the guy.

He talked to him this morning, and then came in and told me that the guy was, in fact, going to go ahead and buy the house. My boss said he told him he needed to honor his commitments, or he'd be screwing me over badly, and that was unacceptable behavior.

So far so good, except the guy wasn't happy about it. The next thing I know, at 3:00 when I was home for lunch, he shows up at my door with a real estate agent, wanting to bring her in to go through the house (with no warning), and list it. Since he was 'forced' to buy the house even though he no longer wanted it, his plan was to put it on the market and sell it as soon as possible.

Apparently before I'd even moved out, or he'd bothered to pay me for it.

I don't know enough insulting swear words to describe this guy. Maybe a real sailor would. An Italian or Greek one, perhaps.

It's the most asinine situation I've ever seen. And I get into some asinine ones.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do about this yet. (Well, in the short term, I refused to let him or the real estate agent in). I'm treading a fine line. On the one hand, they have me a bit over a barrel in that I don't want to skunk the deal, I need him to buy my house. But on the other hand, I don't need him to buy my house so badly that I'm going to let him walk all over me and abuse my rights. I mean, yeah, I'd be in a bad place if I get stuck with two mortgages. But it's not the end of the world (yet anyway). Since I did get the low payments on the new house, I can carry two mortgages (and can get the loan even with two mortgages; already checked that). So it wouldn't ruin buying the new house, it would just leave us very tight on cash every month. I could rent the house while I try to sell it. I could try several scenarios. I would come up with something.

But I'm not going to be trampled all over by a spoiled, rich, rust-belt-town-slum-lord who thinks he can walk all over the 'ignorant little girl' who doesn't have money to toss around like grass clippings. Why do I say this? Because the guy, and his whole family, are freaking loaded. He buys and sells real estate, like, all the time. Big real estate - he routinely deals in six figures. He owns blocks of commercial real estate on the local 'retail strip'. He was just bragging to me about buying a $400,000 building for only $130,000 last week. And he's giving me grief about a $30,000 house? Schmuck doesn't begin to convey the flavor.

So there. I'm done for now. Dinner's ready.

Oh, and Wren - welcome to the blog! I don't know if you've ever made it over here before. And no, it did NOT have a pool. After talking to you, I was routinely refusing to even look at houses that had pools. We'll put in an inflatable wading pool and call it done.

You need to come down for the housewarming ... we'll supply the rum and Guinness at our new bar - with fireplace!

House!

We went back to see the house for a second time yesterday, and have a little issue inspected. The little issue was just that - a very little issue, nothing to be concerned about. And we roamed around the place some more, and liked it more and more every minute.

Here's the stairway to the Imaginarium.


I mentioned the carpet yesterday - this carpet's actually quite cool. You can see it a little in this picture. It's not the "70s olive drab apartment carpet" I initially thought. (At least, I don't think so ... someone else might, but it's not their stairway). ;o) I find that an interesting shade of green (sort of a Spring Vine color), and it has that cool swirly pattern in it. So I think the carpet's staying.

When I had been in the Imaginarium the first time, I didn't even walk all the way to the back and look at that bedroom. I did yesterday, and I was astounded - it's huge! All the rest of that space up there, and then a huge room taking up the whole end of the house as a bonus. Here's a couple pictures - one end of the room ...



... and the other end of the room ...


I also took a picture of that outside door which opens on to a balcony - the door I'm thinking of replacing with a full glass patio door, for the view and light.


So ... we made an offer! Then a flurry of negotations took place. Our offer was low; they countered pretty close to their asking price; we countered with a good increase but still well below them. That was yesterday evening and we haven't heard back yet.

I'm not too worried - in fact, I'm actually enjoying this negotiation. Maybe I'm overthinking or overplaying it, but that's just the thing - I'm kind of treating it as a game. Try to outguess the sellers, try to figure out pscyhogically what effect each scenario will have. Like, for example, our first counter offer jumped $7,000 above our initial offer. That's a lot to come up all at once, but our agent said that would show a good faith effort and our sincere interest in buying the place, which will make the sellers think twice and take us more seriously, if our first offer put them off due to how low it was ($25,000 under their asking price).

But after this, I intend to make each new counter incrementally lower, next time maybe only increasing our offer by $1,500. My guess is that will make them realize that while we are serious, we're not going to roll over easily, I know what I want to pay, and I'm going to fight to keep the price in that range.

Well, like I said - I may be overthinking it, but I think this part is fun. And I have the luxury to do that, because I'm almost positive we're going to get this place no matter what. You see, if they counter at all (which I believe they will; their first counter didn't come down enough from their asking price to be serious, and the house has been on the market for over 2 years), we could accept any of these prices at any time - we can afford it at this price. I just want to see how low I can get the price to go, because obviously the lower it is, the less of my money I have to spend for down payment, and the lower my payments will be.

So as the Dread Reverend is fond of paraphrasing, "We've agreed in principle, and now we're just haggling over price."

I am excited. Oh, here are a couple more pictures.

The recently remodeled kitchen, with the Wall 'O Cabinets.


That whole wall is a bunch of specialty cabinets. One section is a pantry, where when you open the doors there are two units of shelves for canned goods and the like, then those swing out to reveal two more behind them. You could store six months worth of canned goods in that one cabinet alone - amazing. A couple of the others are filled with slide-out shelves. As nice as my current kitchen is, one thing it lacks is cabinet space. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about running out of cupboard space in this kitchen.

The second picture I have is of the backyard - nicely privatized with those beautiful evergreens along the back.


So ... we'll see what I hear today from my real estate agent. Wish me luck!

By the way - Congratulations, Rhys!!! :o)

Welcome To The Imaginarium ...

That's what the sign is going to say right at the top of the stairs to my little hideaway.

I am soooo excited. We've picked a house ... and I think (hope!?) we're going to be able to get it. We actually looked at it a week or more ago, but initially I had kind of mixed feelings about it, and wasn't that interested. (Greg always was hot for it, but I was kind of 'meh' - I should have listened to him).

We looked at some more houses, they were all disappointing, then I went back and looked at my pictures of this place some more, and last night I just had a sort of epiphany - it went something like, "What the hell are you thinking?" This place is perfect for us. It has literally every single thing I asked for in my initial wish list, that we hadn't found in any other house so far. Okay, with one minor exception - I hoped for half an acre, this is .33 of an acre. Big deal.

Yes, in a perfect world I would have loved to have a place with an acre or two of woods, but ... that wasn't on the 'necessary' list, that was on the 'dream' list. And it just wasn't happening anyway. As I'd mentioned, every place with a little bit of land was a dump that needed an extraordinary amount of work - and overpriced to boot. And we do only have so much money. But the yard thing was never a big deal to me anyway - I never complained about wanting a bigger yard, it was more house I needed - all I cared about was having at least some decent yard, with some privacy from the neighbors, and this place has that - a nice sized front and back yard both, with decent privacy in the back on two sides (privacy fence on one, a row of evergreens on the back), so the last side will be easy to 'privatize' with a fence. (And the lot and house both are about three times bigger than what I've got - my current lot is .14 of an acre, this one is .33 ... and my current house is less than 1,000 square feet, while this house is almost 3,000!).

Everything this house has far outweighs any yard issues.

For example ... one thing I wanted was a room of my own, I wanted to put my library and my sewing and craft stuff in there, have a little private place away from the hustle and hubbub that life in my house can sometimes become. A little sanctuary. I was even willing to use an average-sized bedroom for this, although I was concerned about whether or not it'd be big enough for all I hoped to fit into the space - and that required a 4-bedroom house, something we were having serious trouble finding.

In this place, you know what I get? Not just a bedroom - my own apartment! This house has a second-floor 'in-law suite' that my dear, beloved boyfriend has generously said I can have for my very own. (I say that because it was very important to him, and therefore to me, that we have a guest room so he can have family come and stay; we initially talked about how cool it would be to give guests not just a room, but a whole 'suite' - so when I changed my mind and wanted the upstairs for myself, I wasn't sure if he'd mind; but he didn't; and there are enough bedrooms downstairs that we still get the full guest bedroom for any family).

Anyway - my upstairs sanctuary has a kitchen, a living room / sitting area, a bathroom (a full bath, not a half!) and a large (20x10) bedroom. It does need a little updating, a little 'modernizing,' a little redecorating - but that's no big thing. That happens in almost any new house anyway, and it has some very nice features, like the beautifully shaped and textured walls. The decorating-update will just be fun stuff I'd have probably wanted to do anyway, to put my own fingerprints all over the place.

So I am going to turn the kitchen area ...




... into Hobby Central. I can store all my craft and hobby stuff in the cabinets, and have that large expanse of countertop for keeping things handy, and doing projects. We'll move the stove to the basement (where there's another kitchenette sans stove at the moment), where Greg's going to start up his home-brewing again. I considered leaving it, as I could use it to make myself tea when I was up there ... but there's easier ways to do that without needing an entire stove for it. And I'll think of an interesting and unique way to bridge the gap which opens in the countertop where the stove used to be. The sink (currently behind the Dread Reverend there) can certainly stay, as having that there could be quite handy for a lot of things.

I'll do something to lighten the cabinets, as I don't care much for dark wood - either refinish them, or paint them, I don't know yet. But sheesh, can you just see that area as hobby central? It's like a "craft room" on crack. (and will be even more so when I get done fixing it up)

Next, this is the 'sitting area' you first see when you come around from the top of the stairs. It's larger than this picture shows, I just didn't fit it in the picture very well. That cool little dormer window will be the focus for something. The green carpet is a little dated, but I actually like green, so if it's in good condition (I think it is, but didn't look at it very closely the one time we were there), I may just throw some rugs around to add color, and just leave it (unless it happens to have hardwood floors underneath, as the downstairs living room and bedrooms do - then I may want that instead).


Down this hallway is the bathroom on the right, a cedar closet on the left, and the large open bedroom at the end ...


... and I haven't even decided what I'm going to do with that yet! Maybe that'll become the library, or the music room, or both ... I mean, it's 20' long!

I didn't take a picture of it, but at the top of the stairs, there's an outside door onto a little balcony overlooking the backyard. Okay, it's a tiny balcony - but it's still a balcony! Right now it's a solid outdoor-type door but I plan to replace it with a nice patio-type door, all glass with window-pane type things all over it. Like French patio doors, except only one instead of two (unless I want to expand the doorway, which there's room for ... wow, a whole wall of French doors opening onto my private balcony ... ).

I was so excited about all the creative possibilities with having this whole top floor ... I'll have all the room and quiet I could want for sewing, knitting, weaving, drawing, music, writing ... the potential astounds me! With all that space, and not having a houseful of clutter constantly in my face distracting and depressing me, I think I can actually start working on projects again! I might actually get to go back to posting about knitting, sewing, weaving, and embroidery again for a change! (But probably not for awhile, with the whole moving thing sucking up every spare minute for awhile).

Then today while browsing around online I saw a reference to the movie "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus." I haven't seen the movie, but I loved that word, "imaginarium." That's what I decided to call my 'place.' It just sounded so perfect - I can see this whole top floor just being such a haven of imaginative, creative endeavors.

So anyway, one of the first things I'm going to do is make a very cool sign that says "Welcome To The Imaginarium" at the top of the stairway into my lair.

I can't wait ... more tomorrow (we're seeing the house again, having a hopefully minor issue inspected, and if all goes well, making our offer).

Oh - and to leave you with a picture of one of the nicer sections of the house (not all of it needs updating, some of it is perfect as it is), and other reasons it's perfect for us ... the living room ...

... and ... The Pub! Yes, a pub! We'd decided months ago we wanted to construct a pub in the basement of whatever house we got, and I desperately hoped it would have a fireplace as a bonus ... but how much better to have the pub already built in the basement, complete with wet bar (there's a sink behind the bar), and the beautiful stone fireplace. Okay, yeah, again with the updating, but who cares? It's a pub! In our basement! With a fireplace! (And that room is huge - as big as at least one actual bar we know of locally).

Yes, this place has our names all over it. Criminy, I hope nothing goes wrong with this one.

The Dance Of The House

I'm convinced that home buying is a lot like an intricate dance. I see myself (ethereally, not actually) drifting all over the county, sidling around for a closer look at first one place, then another ... one catches my eye and I embrace it wholeheartedly, claiming it as my own, a partnership of sheltered and shelter ... then I take a step back and the clock has struck midnight, the glass slipper's off, and the reality of the place - warts and all - gives me pause, I step back a little further ... and begin the circuit again, looking for a new dance partner.

Yeah, whatever. Me waxing poetic isn't necessarily a good thing.

House hunting SUCKS. Let's see, where did we leave off? Oh yes - beauty and the beast. Beauty was the gorgeous little ranch with the living room with a cathedral ceiling, knotty pine walls, and a big gorgeous fireplace, with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out on a wonderful little backyard. I became obsessed with that place for quite awhile after our last post, desperately wanting to buy it. But there was one insurmountable problem (besides the yard being small and not so private, which wasn't actually insurmountable) - parking. There was a 2 car garage, but we must have 3 vehicles (the Dread Reverend can't use his work vehicle for personal use, so must have a mundane vehicle as well) and the driveway just wasn't going to be accommodating to housing a third vehicle, without it constantly being in the way - something we desperately want to avoid, because we are sick of dealing with that problem here. And there was no room to widen it due to the property and house layout. It took me over a week (maybe closer to two), but I finally let that place go and moved on. Sigh.

The beast was the farmhouse with the 8 acres, but the house was atrocious.

Since then we've looked at varying degrees of silliness. Tiny houses with no room on little lots that they want $130,000 for. Huge houses on tiny lots that they want $100,000 for. Big, gorgeous treed lots with houses that need almost total renovation for $85,000. (We're not in the mood for that much work).

One remains in our potential list. It's this crazy cape cod with an upstairs apartment. The downstairs has a kitchen, dining room, 3 bedrooms, living room (with fireplace!), and bath. Then the upstairs is a whole 'nother apartment, with a kitchen, living room, bedroom and another full bath. How cool! The basement is gorgeous, with a big huge bar with another stone fireplace (and another half bath). The one thing that held us back on this place was the yard isn't great. But we haven't ruled it out.

There's one I want to go see this week. It's a big ranch (we used to hate ranches, till we discovered they had the best big-ass basements) with nice fireplaces in both the living room and the basement (do you see the trend here? I've grown to love fireplaces in the basement, we plan to make an official Irish pub in whatever house we get, in the basement by the fireplace). It has a very nice, large lot, bordered in the back with trees (the trees don't go with the property, but they're there, instead of just someone else's backyard). Huge long double-wide driveway, so no parking issues. The only downside of this place is it's only 3 bedrooms ... if we can't carve a niche out of the place somewhere for my 'personal room' then it's going to be a bummer. (Need the 3rd bedroom for a guest room).

I actually like the ranch better than the cape cod with the apartment, but it's also more expensive. So we'll see ... and I'll know more by the weekend, hopefully.

By the way, Rhys - living next to you wouldn't be the problem ... then again, maybe I'm wrong. It might be. ;o)

Home Sweet What?

Well, we dived back into the house hunt. It's a real rollercoaster. Finding houses at all has been tricky ... as I mentioned before, the ones with a little land are crappy houses; and the nice houses have little city lots. It's been hard to find anything even worth going to see.

We looked at two this weekend. One had great land (8 acres wooded, with a beautiful large lawn) but the house was nasty. Needed a ton of work, and they wanted way too much for it, for the work it needed. The second house was gorgeous, so beautiful I was tempted to make an offer on it right away. But the back yard wasn't really as big as we would have liked, and not private at all - the back yards of the neighbors on three sides were just right there, in your face. After some major waffling, we decided we'd never be really happy with that yard. And the property was on almost half an acre, but the way it was set up, most of it was front yard, and just not workable for us.

So we've modified our search parameters again - upped the property size to an acre or more, but lowered the required bedrooms from 4 to 3 (since 4 bedroom homes on a decent size lot are hard to find and mostly out of our price range). We'll continue the hunt.

The good news is that my buyer still wants to buy my house, for cash, and is willing to wait awhile at least for us to find a new home. I just hope we can find one before he loses interest!

Nothing else has been going on. No knitting, no projects of any kind. I was sick most of the weekend, in fact left work early Friday, and now have a disaster to deal with tomorrow (deadline work I didn't get done Friday because of leaving sick). But that doesn't bear thinking about tonight.

More Bad News

It's official. My real estate agent called me yesterday. The sellers of my dream home had finally called her back, and they've decided to take the house off the market - they're not moving out of state after all, and they're not selling it.

I'm pretty disappointed. But ironically, I'm more upset about 2 other things than just simply the loss of that house. One is that, had I acted on this back in October when we first looked at the place, rather than waffling around about it for two months, it would probably have already been a done deal before tragedy struck and they changed their mind. The second thing is I'm far more disappointed about not getting to move out of this house, than about not getting the new house. Semantics, maybe, but it's a point to me. I was so looking forward to being able to move out of this house and not have to deal with this clutter and too-small spaces anymore. For the last month I hadn't even been worried about this place, because I figured in a month it wasn't going to be my problem anymore.

Now it's my problem again, all the clutter and junk is still here, and now I have to figure out something to do with it.

Our agent is going to start looking for new houses for us to look at. But I've been scouring the online listings, and I've found precious little in our price range that fits our requirements. The nicer houses are all on little city lots like mine (I don't think I can stand moving to a new house and only having a tiny city lot where the neighbors are mere feet away); the houses on a little land (an acre or more) are mostly crappy, run-down, missing vital components we need (like 4 bedrooms, or a family room, or a fireplace).

The other concern is selling my house - I had a cash buyer for my house, but he was kind of in a hurry to buy something. If it takes us months to find a new house, I do not know if he's going to be willing to wait, and still buy this one. He may decide he has to go find something else. If he does, then I'm faced with selling this place on the market, which is very daunting. The market for sellers is tanking badly. The economy is tanking badly, and real estate analysts are predicting that selling homes is going to get even more difficult in 2009, because people who are in an economic crisis, maybe facing the potential loss of their jobs, aren't much in the mood to sink money into a new home. Unfortunately for me, my house being relatively cheap doesn't help me in this regard. The people who are more likely to be financially stable and fairly confident in their job security are people who have 'good' jobs and make more money; and they aren't going to want a house like mine.

The people who would be more likely to be looking at a house like mine - younger people maybe buying their first home - are going to be in less secure, lower-paying jobs, with more fear that they may lose said job, and be less inclined to go into mortgage debt. Ergo, selling my house could be much harder even than the 'average' house in this market.

Or so says Rayne the Real Estate guru. Well, it goes along with what I read online, anyway, and it makes sense to me.

Well. It is what it is, and I'll have to deal with it from this point, as it's the only place I have to deal with it from. I'm hoping to get up the energy this weekend to go back to work on my upstairs, which had become the storage dump in the last month. I need to start organizing it and trying to make it liveable again, since there's no telling how long I'll have to keep living with it.

Some Drawings

Here are a few of my drawings. These aren't great photos, as they were taken indoors with incandescent light, which does strange things to graphite. Maybe someday I'll re-take them outdoors in normal light. For that matter, they aren't great drawings ... I'm still learning. But I'm pretty happy with them, considering before I did these, I swore - truthfully -that I couldn't even draw stick figures well.

What made the transition was a book called "Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain." I highly recommend it. I'm serious. I really couldn't draw stick figures, then I worked through that book, and drew these - with little practice and no formal training. I have no doubt if I applied myself (something I suck at), I could be even much better. Truly - anyone can learn to draw.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was drawn from a dragon on the cover of the book "A Dragon Lover's Treasury Of The Fantastic" by Margaret Weis. But I modified it somewhat, the clawed heart was my idea. It was a phase.




This was a picture of my mom and dad I drew from a photograph. I definitely need to re-take this picture, this one sucks.

Those were all drawn some years ago, then I stopped drawing for awhile. When I took it up again on a whim this year, I did a portrait of The Dread Reverend, also from a photo. The proportions are a bit off, but it's a good likeness. (I had to make that disclaimer lest anyone think the Dread Reverend had facial issues ... he doesn't, I do).

2009 Finished Projects

Pewter Casting
7.25.09

Bardic coins for my group (household; ship; thing) to hand out to bards
who we feel have particularly gone above and beyond at events.



Pewter Casting
9.6.09

Site medallions for Rivenvale's Saxon Summer IX
(60 0f them)




xx

My A&S 50 Challenge Goals

Using 15 different A&S skills, some of which I've dabbled in and some of which I've never tried, but almost none of which I've ever completed an SCA-related project with, I will make 3 projects with each skill. The projects will be:

• something for my personal use


• something to spiff up our group camp; or that I can give to my local group, the Shire of Rivenvale, if they could use it; or that in some other way will be used for the benefit of a group of people


• something I can donate to the Kingdom, if appropriate, or which in some way will be useful to or enjoyed by a larger number of people than just the local group (yeah, that one's tricky!)

My tentative list of categories and projects, which will be probably often and copiously amended:

Food
Personal: create a period-esque dish to serve at a group get-together at my house (a few close friends, where questions won't be asked if a bunch of people get sick)
Group: create a different period-esque dish to serve one night at Pennsic, for our combined camping groups
Kingdom, et al.: Undetermined

Herbs
Research and grow my own herbs for these preparations:
Personal: Undetermined
Group: Make an herbal salve for use by our campmates at Pennsic - either a sunburn salve, or a soothing foot salve, or a bug bite salve - something like that
Kingdom, et al.: Undetermined

Bone Carving
Personal: Make a comb
Group: Undecided
Kingdom: Undecided

Soapmaking
Personal: make myself some soap - duh
Group: make some nice hand soap for use in the camp kitchen at Pennsic
Kingdom, et al.: Undecided

Pewter Casting
Personal: Make coins/tokens for our group members to pass out to bards who especially impress us at events (Robin's idea which I usurped for this project) - done 7.25.09 (the first batch was done and handed out, though I'll be making more)
Group: Help cast the site medallions for my local groups annual event - done 9.6.09
Kingdom, et al.: Coins with the midrealm 'logo' for the king or queen to give out for appreciation tokens (at A&S exhibitions, etc.).

Games
Personal: Make a board and pieces, learn, and teach Robin to play Tamerlane Chess (a 14th century Persian variation of modern chess)
Group: Research and make a game our camps can play at Pennsic, and teach others to play
Kingdom, et al: Undecided

Music
Personal: Undecided
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al: Undecided

Applique
Personal: Make a new personal device banner
Group: Make a ship's banner
Kingdom, et al: Undecided

Blackwork Embroidery
Personal: Trim on a chemise
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al.: Probably some embroidered linens, depending on the wish list of the current King and Queen when I get ready to do this project

Dyeing
Personal: Dye a muslin chemise using period methods and materials
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al: Undecided

Inkle Weaving
Personal: Make a piece of trim and attach it to my garb
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al.: Trim for largesse

Tablet Weaving
Personal: Undecided
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al.: Trim for largesse

Favors & Tokens
Personal: Undecided
Group: Make (finish) the Sea Chameleon favors I thought up several years ago (only one ever completed)
Kingdom, et al: Undecided

Candlemaking and/or Period Lighting
Personal: Make some neat candles for home
Group: Make some nice candles or period lighting for group pavilion
Kingdom, et al.: Undecided

Leatherworking
Personal: Make myself a simple pair of boots
Group: Undecided
Kingdom, et al.: Undecided

Illumination
Personal: Undecided
Group: do the Ship's Articles as an illuminated 'scroll'
Kingdom, et al.: Undecided; possibly a scroll blank, if needed and I get good enough

Cartography
Personal: Make a period-esque map to hang in our living room
Group: Make a period-esque map of Pennsic, weatherproofed, for our camp (so newbies can find their way around)
Kingdom, et al.: Undecided

There are actually 16 items here, not 15, but that's okay ... the original list had 25. As it may get tweaked some more as time goes on, it's fine to have some wiggle room. Also, if I can't come up with 3 different projects for one skill, I can always swap out another skill, so extras are good.

My Librivox Recordings - How To Listen

I'm posting links here of the Librivox recordings I'm doing. To check them out, this is what you do.

When you click on the link it will take you to a forum page. The first post on that page will have a box called the "Magic Window" (scroll down a bit to see it). The Magic Window lists each section or chapter of the book.

Find the chapter indicated in my link (i.e., "Mother West Wind - Ch 2" is section or chapter 2) - or you can just look for my name (Rayne) as "Reader". Next to that you will see a link that says "Listen!". Simply click on that link, and see how easy this all is!

When projects are finished and catalogued by Librivox, the link will take you to the catalogue page, where again you just scroll down to find the sections I've listed, or the ones with my name where it says "Read by."

New Year's Thoughts

It didn't particularly start off well. We had people over for New Year's, but I was sick and fell asleep on the couch, and no one woke me up to watch the ball drop in Times Square or say "Happy New Year" at midnight. I was woken up a couple minutes after midnight. Umm, that kind of defeated the purpose of having a party and trying to stay up for it. That's two holidays in two weeks wrecked. It reinforces my idea to go far, far away next year for this entire week-long ordeal.

Anyway, it's that time of year. Reviewing my year's goals from the past year, and establishing new ones for the coming year. I don't do 'resolutions' per se, but I do like to look over where I've been in the past year, where I accomplished what I hoped, where I didn't and why, and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. The astute may notice I've lost my ambition for particulars - with one exception, my list is short and vague this year.

Last year's recap.

Enjoy Life
While I didn't entirely fail at this, it didn't turn out as I hoped. There were far too many rough spots for my liking ... many of them not my fault (the unexpected death of my sister-in-law), but many of them were. Problems at home, problems at work - too many problems, everywhere.

There were a lot of good times and good things too. But I haven't done exactly what I set out to do - which was not to just enjoy some sporadic moments of fun, but to cultivate a foundation of peace and happiness that permeates my life every day, no matter what I'm doing.

That's why I changed this year's goal to "find inner peace" - that's all I really need. "Happiness" eludes description, but knowing I can be peaceful and content no matter what is going on around me would be a mindset worth cultivating.

Simplify Everything
This stayed, because I believe simplifying life goes hand in hand with finding inner peace. I believe wholeheartedly in the 'simplicity movement.' People accumulate too many things, both physical stuff, and mental baggage. This kind of accumulation doesn't foster a peaceful life.

Make One Knitted Garment That Actually Fits
Nope. Didn't finish the sweater. Not even close. Don't know if I ever will. I've been in a knitting slump for a very long time now, in part because of this inability to finish anything. I remember I went through this last year about this time as well, and started a project of trying to make one small thing a month, in addition to my large project - that way at least I got a sense of accomplishment. That only lasted a few months, and I'm not in the mood just now. So I didn't make any knitting goals for the year. I'll knit what I want, when I want, and if I don't, I won't.

Finish Tolkien Quilt
This became one of the purge projects. I started this thing in 1996 or 1997, but it had languished for so long. I'd work on it sporadically, then lose interest. I finally realized that I had long since completely lost interest in it, but kept trying to work on it out of some misguided sense of duty - and that's no way to feel about something that's supposed to be a relaxing hobby. I finally relegated this project to the "giving up" bin. And it feels quite liberating! I really don't care.

I did some nice applique work in the center panel, and I may choose to save that - maybe I'll make a nice wall hanging out of it or something. Otherwise, that project is but a memory.

Work On My CD
Well, I did one session, put down the guitar track for one song. That was it. Then I lost interest. In my goals of examining my life, I have to take a good look at this music thing, and decide what I want to do. If I really want to make a CD, then I need to buckle down and get busy working on it. And if I don't, it just seemed like a good idea at the time, then I need to forget about it and move on.

Take Another Great Vacation
We did that - our second trip to the beach house on the Outer Banks. It was a pretty good vacation - it had some frighteningly rocky spots, which I hope not to replicate if we go there again next year. And I had some issues with a travel-mate which I most assuredly don't wish to repeat next year. But all in all, it was a good trip. It's not a big enough deal, though, to add to the list for this year.

Complete House Fixing-Up
This didn't get accomplished at all, and is now completely up in the air. In the last month of 2008 I was convinced we were buying a new house and I quit worrying about this one. Now that it's all up in the air, I have to have a contingency plan. I cannot, cannot, will not continue to live in this place in this cluttered, messy condition if we can't buy the new house. Drastic steps are going to be taken. I just don't know what yet. That's why I changed the wording of this goal to "make my home liveable." That means if we move, grand - and I'll make that place nice. If we don't move, I will do whatever it takes - whatever - to make this place as comfortable and pleasantly liveable as I can.

Quit Smoking
Not yet, but this is another goal I have not given up on. I'm tired of ruining my body, and the one specific "resolution-type" goal I have for 2009 is to get healthier.

That's about it for last year. What are this year's changes?

Find Inner Peace
Gurus around the world for centuries have searched for this elusive thing. Such a simple sounding thing, but so complex. But that's all I really want in the coming year. Nothing else can really matter that much one way or the other if I can find that. Not sporadic 'happines,' enjoying some random events throughout the year, no one thing can take the place of just finding a foundation and a 'ground of being' in inner peace. I'm not sure how I'm going to cultivate such a thing in the arid soil of a mind in contstant turmoil and angst, but it'll be an interesting endeavor.

Simplify Everything
This goal remains, as I believe it is one of the requirements of the kind of life I want to live. Both physical - getting rid of the accumulated junk that is just taking up too physical much space in my life; and mental / emotional, getting rid of the accumulated junk that is sucking the peace out of my everyday life. Again, I'm not sure what I'm going to do, or how, but I do know that some things are going to change.

Make My Home Liveable
I think I talked about this already, and it goes with the above.

Quit Smoking And Get Healthy
I'm tired of wrecking my body, and I'm getting too old for this crap. I'm starting to enter that phase of life where all this bad living is going to start catching up to me, and I don't want to keep doing things that just hurry the process. I'm tired of feeling like crap all the time, tired, run-down, no energy, unable to go upstairs without getting out of breath, worried that I'm heading towards a heart attack (my dad's first was at the age of 48). Gotta stop this year.

Examine My Life
This is probably the most elusive and most important of all. Everything else revolves around this. I've read a lot about the alleged 'mid-life crisis' where people hit some age somewhere between 40 and 50-ish (it depends on the person) and start questioning all they've done, all they have, and what they want. Some people make fun of it, as if one is trying to grasp futilely at a lost youth. But two wise authors I've read say different (Barara Sher and Christiane Northrup). Both say, in their own ways (I'm of course paraphrasing), that there's a good and viable reason people start examining their lives in these years. For one, you finally first become truly aware of your own mortality. I don't care what anyone says, up until your late 30s, deep inside you mostly believe you are immortal. Death is something that happens to other people. Or it's so far away that you just don't even need to consider it as something that might happen someday. Of course people would say, "Of course I know I'm going to die some day." But there's some strange pocket in the mind that lets you just really, truly ignore it. It doesn't have any bearing on your day to day life. But you reach a certain age where it starts to crawl out of it's corner and make itself known on a pretty much regular basis. And you start to panic, maybe only a little at first - you think, "Rats, some day I actually am going to die, and do I want to die having done nothing but what I've done so far?"

It can be precipitated by things you see or experience. I know it didn't help me at all that I know - personally know - two people who died of cancer at the ages of 49 and 51. I know of several others. In our office, we've had more than one client die suddenly of a heart attack in their 40s. So when you see these things, some people of a more morbid mindset can't help thinking, "Hell's bells, that could happen to me." And it does make you start thinking about what you'd rather be doing with the rest of your life, other than what you are.

The second reason this happens is that often by the age of the 40s to 50s, people have pretty well gotten most of the little goals they had earlier in life - settled into their job of choice, have a nice house, a decent car, kids if they wanted them (who are probably growing up now and not requiring the constant care of the younger years), and they look around and think, "Well. This is it?" The pursuits of the 20s and 30s are found wanting when obtained. People look for something else, the something more.

Whatever. I've blathered on long enough defending my 'life examining.' The point is, I'm going to do it. I have a lot for someone my age in this forsaken, dead rust belt town. I have a "good" job (at least as far as hourly pay, benefits, and job security). I have my own home, which - well, we won't go there, you know that story. I'm in a good relationship. I have money in the bank so I don't have to live from paycheck to paycheck, don't have to worry about unexpected crises (an unexpected $600 truck repair this week didn't even bother me). I'm "middle class successful."

And I'm mostly not terribly happy or thrilled with my life, mostly just plodding through it day by day. So obviously there's something I'm missing. I'm either going to find out what it is, or recognize that this is as good as it gets, and I'm just a malcontent who needs to grow some gratitude.

We'll see.

Completed Projects

1.1 Pewter Casting

Coins with a music note and sword, for our group the Sea Chameleon to give out
to bards at events who, in our humble opinions, particularly go above and beyond.

First Batch: 7.25.09

1.2 Pewter Casting

Medallions for my local group's event - the Shire of Rivenvale's
Saxon Summer IX.

Completed: 9.6.09




xx

My Persona

Since hooking up with Robin and creating the Sea Chameleon, I've wanted to create a story about who I was and how I ended up on this boat ... ship. Part of the A&S 50 Challenge that I've also taken on is to create or learn 50 things about my persona. Here's my work in progress (which may get amended from time to time, until I get it all sorted out).

(edited 9.6.09)

1. Born in 1556 in County Meath, Ireland
2. Raised mostly in Westmorland, England at Lowther Hall
3. Parents: Sir Richard Lowther and Frances Middleton
4. Had 16 brothers and sisters
5. Year I'm currently living in: 1581
6. George Clifford was a cousin of mine who was born two years after me, so we
were close in age and grew up together
7. The ship I'm on is a frigate
8. While an arranged marriage would have been the usual course for me, I was rebellious and didn't want to marry; and I got my way in that
9. I spent a lot of time in Ireland, especially with my cousin George, who had been married young against his will and was often away from home traveling in Ireland; we were of a 'like mind' about things, both being adventurous, restless types, and got on well together
10. In England at this time, Elizabeth I had taken the throne.
11. Cousin George was a predominant 'gentleman adventurer' for Our Queen, and I often traveled with him. This is how I came to meet Robin McCauley (a privateer out of Ireland). We hooked up, as it were, and I left George's ship to sail with Robin.

Notes: A lot of this is based on my true family genealogy. Sir Richard Lowther and Frances Middleton were, in fact, my real ancestors. I was astounded to find that they had allegedly had twenty children (four of whom died young) ... they had a child almost every year from the year they were married, on. It seems Frances was pregnant pretty much non-stop from her 20s into her 40s. The Lowthers lived at Lowther Hall (now Lowther Castle - same location, rebuilt in the 17th century), Westmorland, England, but for some reason I haven't yet ferretted out, four of their children were born in County Meath, Ireland. I've decided I was one of them - it gives me the tie with Ireland I wanted (not to mention, the Hill of Tara is in County Meath, which will eventually come to explain my chosen name - Rayne of Tara).

Some of the Lowther family did hold lands in Ireland, in fact there is a town in Ireland named Irvinestown, which formerly was known as Lowtherstown, as one of my distant ancestors founded it - I haven't confirmed it, but it appears it was one of Sir Richard's sons who founded the town. (In my persona story, that would be one of my brothers). If I can't track down more information about this connection to Ireland, I'll make something up - after all, a persona doesn't have to be historically perfectly accurate, just plausible.

George Clifford was also a relation of mine, being a second cousin to Sir Richard. George was 3rd Earl of Cumberland and had a colorful history, engaging in some buccaneering in his time. While he hadn't yet begun his piratey adventures in 1581, it was only a few years later when he did, and with a little creative license, I can use him to explain how I came to be living a sea-faring life.
I know I don't have to have such real-life links, but I'm doing it because I think it's fun - I was fortunate to be able to trace this particular branch of my family back so far, and I find it really cool to be able to 'pretend' to be a part of this actual family, my real ancestors, during the Middle Ages.