Storm Surfing

Well, okay ... it's not 'surfing,' it's boogie boarding. In a not-tropical-storm.

I said I wanted to spend my birthday on the beach. Who says I can't just because it's not sunny and 85? Welcome to "real" coastal weather ... all ranges of it.

You know what they say ... a "bad" day at the beach is still better than a 'good' day in NE Ohio.

"Not A Tropical Storm" Kicking Our Butt

Well, "Nicole" ceased to officially be a tropical storm yesterday, but I think that makes little practical difference. We've been getting pounded with 50+ mph winds and walls of rain for at least the last 4 hours.

The water line usually averages about 30 yards or so from the bottom of our steps down to the beach. Right now the waves are topping about 5' from the bottom step - and high tide isn't for another 2 to 3 hours. Interesting!

What'll be REALLY interesting is scouring the beach after the tide goes back out this afternoon. All kinds of stuff will be getting churned and spit up on the beach.

More later...

Steady Improvement

Tyler continues to do well. He handled the trip down here like a trooper. His eyes look good - consistently moist and wet. He's taking all his meds well. He hates being cooped up in the crate, and I want to have him out as much as possible, but for a couple days it was tricky - there were so many people here, including kids, that I couldn't let Tyler roam around the house - too many things to walk into or get his cone hooked on.

Yesterday was much better for him. We went shopping, but when we came back he was out of the crate from late afternoon until about midnight.

I've found a treat he really enjoys. He can't go to the beach (no sand or too much wind allowed) but I take him out on the road on the other side of the house - its protected from most of the wind by the dunes and houses, and he trots up and down the road, very happy.

While he doesn't keep his eyes wide open all the time, he often does - especially when we go outside. He's adjusting as well as can be expected to having to wear the cone ALL the time, and he's navigating around the house pretty darned well, for it being all new to him - which leads me to believe he may very well not have that cognitive disorder the local vet also diagnosed him with. I believe there's a very good chance it was just that his eyes hurt SO much that it was effecting his ability to get around the house.

Stupid vets ... I'm still REALLY ticked that they misdiagnosed him for so long that things got to that condition. I haven't decided what I'm going to do about it yet. But more on that another time.

Right now the important thing is that he's doing well, and seems to be enjoying himself, as much as he can with a lampshade on his head and stitches in his eye.

As for me, an awesome thunderstorm blew through here early this morning, but it's clearing now, so I'm going to walk down to the beach.

Okay, as long as that light at the end of the tunnel isn't the Hades Express, things are looking up.

UPDATE:

The Most Beautiful Sight I Ever Saw


Eyes (mostly) open ... wet and shiny ... and both there!!!

That whole eyes open thing is a really big deal - it's been a week since Tyler would voluntarily open his eyes ... and while that may not sound like long, it's an eternity to have watched him suffer and wonder if he'd ever open them again.

ORIGINAL POST:

Last night Tyler finally slept through the night. Well, except for one brief waking-up and a little very quiet whining, after which he promptly went back to sleep till morning. I'm pretty sure that he had finally worked the anesthesia out of his system and was possibly out of pain enough to be just completely exhausted, as the last time we placed him in the crate, his butt had barely cleared the door before he literally just fell over, and fell asleep.

Which also means that I, too, finally got a whole night's sleep. While I still feel like death warmed over, I suppose it's nothing compared to how I'd have felt if I hadn't gotten the whole night's sleep, after the last two.

This morning was even more encouraging. His eyes looked very good when he first woke up.

One of the problems that has to be watched is that until the medication he's being given to help him start producing tears on his own starts working, he'll still have the 'dry eye' condition that started this whole thing -and that's deadly to the healing of his eyes right now. So his eyes need to stay moist both for the healing of the surgery, and for the healing of that smaller lesion that started forming in his left eye.

Wednesday morning when I said his right eye was stuck shut, when I took him back up to the clinic, they got it open (with warm compresses and gently working it apart), and told me that was something that is to be expected for a few days, but which I had to watch. When the eyes are too dry, they cause the production of that slimy gunk that was gathering in Tyler's eyes before. Then, overnight when his eyes are shut for long periods, that gunk dries and sticks his eyes shut. They told me that if he's waking up with his eyes stuck together, it means they're still too dry, and that will hinder the healing of both the surgery, and the smaller lesion in his left eye that was still fixable without surgery.

The 'fix' for that gunky stickiness is two things - the medication he's being given which will stimulate him to start producing his own tears again, and until that starts working, frequent application of artificial tears. We've been doing that.

Fortunately, this morning when he woke up, neither eye was stuck shut - although he didn't voluntarily open them, when I gently pulled up on the skin above his eyes to see if they would open, each opened easily. There was only a little gunk on the outer edges of the lids of the right (surgery) eye, but it was easily removed by a warm rag, wasn't 'stuck' or dried or anything, and there was none inside his eye. Very, very good news.

Later in the day, when Greg tried to put some more artificial tears in, he said Tyler's eye basically watered up and washed them back out - a very good sign.

Tyler ate a good breakfast and lunch - since he's lost a lot of weight recently, I'm going to feed him 3 or 4 meals a day, as much as he'll eat, until he regains that weight. He's been drinking a lot of water, and apparently today while Greg was home with him, even got adventurous and started roaming around the house a little.

Best news of all - when I came home, he greeted me with wide open eyes. That's a sight I haven't seen in quite awhile - and another excellent sign. If he's keeping his eyes open, that means he's getting his tears back, the eyes aren't dry and painful, and he's interested in what's going on again.

All around, very good news. My cold is whipping my butt - I frequently have lightheaded, dizzy spells, and feel both hot and cold at the same time - but I can manage knowing Tyler's on the mend.

It's A Good Thing ...

... that I adopted the new practice of refusing to worry about anything, because it served me well last night.

Though Tyler's surgery went well, his eye is still very fragile, and will be for several weeks. That's why he has to wear the E-collar (Elizabethan, that big plastic cone thing) and at all costs be kept from rubbing his eye on anything, or pawing at it. In the worst case scenario (unrestrained access to his eye), he could rip the graft loose, and cause irreparable damage.

But, as long as I had the crate and the E-collar, I assumed he'd be fine - those things are there specifically to keep him safe, despite how badly he hates them.

Last night I put him in the crate when Greg went to bed, to see how he was going to do, and sat and watched him for about 20 minutes. He paced and bounced his collar into each of the four walls in turn, over and over and over, and whined incessantly. But he couldn't hurt himself, so I knew though the discomfort was hard to watch, he was safe.

I wasn't ready for bed (I should have been, as I'd gotten no sleep the night before, but I was a little too wired to sleep yet) so I went out into the dining room. Tyler would take breaks from his pacing and whining, maybe 20 minutes when he'd lay down and rest, then he'd resume the pacing and whining, and when I'd hear him, I'd go check, but he was still okay - just pissed off.

I finally went to bed about 12:30. About half an hour later he started again, and I was going to ignore it, knowing I'd already checked him multiple times, and he was fine. But he sounded a little more yappy this time, and actually woke Greg up, who did get up to check him.

Good thing. He'd gotten his collar off. I had no idea how long it had been off, but I knew damned well in whatever time it was off he'd have been rubbing and pawing at his eye. I had no idea what kind of damage he might have done.

I took him out of the crate and out into the dining room. At first his eye looked normal, but about 10 minutes later when I checked again the stitches looked funny to me, there was some swelling, and his eye was stuck shut. I couldn't open it at all. I got concerned. I tried calling the emergency number they'd given me, but it turns out it's like a vet call center, and the vet I spoke to was in Illinois, and couldn't tell me anything. Lovely. Very useful. I decided I'd wait till morning and have him back at the eye clinic when they opened at 8:00 a.m., as the only way to know for sure whether he'd done any damage to his graft was to have the doctor look at him.

But, I maintained my new philosophy and decided I wasn't going to worry about it, one way or the other. And I didn't. Which was fine because I had other things to occupy my angst, but more on that later.

That turned out to be the right decision, because after thoroughly checking him, the doctor said no, he was fine, no damage. And we got a better collar, one he can't get out of.

But, as I mentioned, new and unexpected things arose to blindside me. I mentioned I'd gotten no sleep Monday night because, though I was in bed about 4 or 5 hours, that was the night we first discovered the hole in Tyler's eye, and it was important then, too, that he not rub it or paw at it. But then I had no crate or collar, so had no way to protect him during the night. I decided to put him in the bed between me and Greg, with my hand on him, knowing that if he even flinched I'd wake up instantly, and be able to keep him from hurting his eye in the night.

What I hadn't known was that instead of eventually falling asleep and just sleeping through the night, which I expected, he'd get all fidgety and start trying to scratch his eye about every 20 minutes, all night long. So the 4 or 5 hours I spent in bed was spent dozing for 15 or 20 minutes, and waking up and calming Tyler down, and repeating the process all. Night. Long. I think I finally got up about 4:00 or 5:00 a.m.

But, I thought for sure Tuesday night I'd be able to sleep, because he'd have the crate and the collar, I thought he'd be exhausted, and sleep okay. Even if he got up sometimes and paced a bit or whined, like I said earlier, I knew (or thought I knew) that he'd be safe so I could sleep and not worry about it.

So much for that. I got the half-hour of sleep before he woke me up. Then I sat up with him till 3:00 a.m., not knowing what to do - I couldn't put him back in his crate with that collar on, as he'd just get it off again. By 3:00 I was so tired I was delirious, so I resorted to putting some blankets and pillows on the floor in front of his dog bed (where I'd moved him, in the dining room), and slept there from 3:00 till about 5:30 a.m. with my hand on Tyler, to wake me up at the slightest stir so I could keep him from pulling his collar off again, on the same schedule as the night before - about every 15 or 20 minutes Tyler would suddenly start thrashing about and whining, and I'd have to calm him down, then doze off again for another 15 or 20 minutes.

By this morning I was feeling zombified. I even had a brief hallucination - I was sitting in the dining room with Tyler, and could have sworn I saw someone standing in the kitchen. But I blinked a couple times, and it was gone.

Then I had to drive him to Akron in that condition (lots of coffee helped. a little.), about 7:00 a.m., to be there by 8:00 when the clinic opened. Had the examine, drove back home, and by that time (about 10:00 this morning) I was pretty sure if I didn't do something I was going to involuntarily just pass out. So I had another couple hours of the 20-minute interval naps by laying in front of the crate with the door open and my hand inside on Tyler, to wake up the minute he started thrashing about again. Which he did on schedule, about every 15 or 20 minutes the entire three hours I was laying there.

The icing on that cupcake? When I 'woke up' from this 20-minute-interval nap, I'd developed a good strong sinus infection. Feeling absolutely miserably sick right now.

And Tyler's not really doing well. Oh, as far as the surgical procedure itself he's doing fine, no problems with that. But recovery's an issue. He won't open his eyes, which he should have started doing by now; he won't eat, and hasn't eaten since Monday; he also hasn't gotten his oral meds since Monday, the thyroid medicine he needs and the Anipryl for his alleged, potential cognitive dysfunction, because I can't get him to take any pills (even when I think he's swallowed it, some time later I'll find it spit out somewhere), and I usually put them in his food, but he's not eating, so he's not getting those; he won't drink water; every time I put him in the cage he thrashes around in a panic, bouncing off the walls and almost howling.

My boss is losing patience with the amount of time I'm missing work, especially with being supposed to be on vacation next week. I missed two days last week, and two days now so far this week. I told him I'd be in today, but obviously I couldn't go. The only reason I can go tomorrow is because Greg arranged his schedule so he can work at home tomorrow, so he can stay here with Tyler.

The one speck of light in regards to that is, with the collar I know he can't get out of, I should be able to put him in his crate and actually get a whole night's sleep, so that I actually can go to work and function tomorrow.

The synopsis is that I'm about a fine copper wire's breadth from a nervous breakdown, and there's no end in sight. I'm not at all sure that the NC trip is even a good idea at this point, if he's going to be like this. The only problem is, staying home by myself would be worse, as I'd have no one to help me with anything. At least there if I needed some help with him, I'd have it. But it's certainly going to make the trip stressful as hell. Well -if he won't start eating and drinking before then, I certainly can't go, because he's certainly going to have to go back to the clinic to have something done with him. He can't go much longer without food and water, he was already losing weight before this surgery, and I was trying to get him to gain a little back. He's so bony now it's frightening.

I'm tempted to ask the eye clinic if they'd consider a medical boarding, where they keep him and give him his meds and make sure he gets food and water, by IV if necessary, instead of taking him to NC with me. But ... that seems cruel, it's really not his fault, and he'd be even more panicked and miserable stuck in one of their cages for ten days. So I guess that's not a fair option.

I'm about to go try to spoon-feed him some food. And if necessary, force some water down him by eye dropper. I'm determined to get some sustenance and hydration into him at whatever cost - maybe once I can get it started, he'll pick it up.

If not, then ... I don't know. The only thing I do know right now is that this is not going well. Maybe his age wasn't a factor in how he managed the surgery, but maybe he's too old to handle the recovery process. But I couldn't have done anything different, based on what I knew when I made the decision. And there's certainly nothing I can do now except try to get through this.

Five minutes at a time.

Tyler Dodges Another Bullet ... Barely ... And At A Cost

To say it was a stressful day would be like saying ... well, like saying the moon's a little chilly this time of year, might want to take a sweater.

Tyler didn't start the day in too horrible a place, but as the morning wore on he steadily declined. He was in excruciating pain - I mentioned he rarely shows pain, but today it was so bad, he did. At some point he closed his eyes completely and refused to open them again. When I tried to offer him a little breakfast of just some warm rice (I assumed he was too sick to eat a full breakfast), he literally turned his nose up at it, just turned away. And that is very unlike Tyler, who always has a good appetite - and missed dinner the night before due to the emergency trip to the local vet.

Anyway, skipping ahead to seeing the eye vet. The gist of it was this: he said the lesion or ulcer in Tyler's eye had penetrated so deeply that it was within about a millimeter of having gone all the way through the cornea. Basically his eye was hanging together at that point by a thread. He said if that had gone that millimeter further, through the cornea, the fluid inside his eye would have started leaking out through the hole. (and I wondered what could be worse than how it was already - well, now I know).

He also said that it was so incredibly fragile at that point, that if Tyler had merely bumped his head on something, or sneezed, it probably would have ruptured his eye.

Holy cow.

So then, finally, he said what I'd been waiting to hear. Removing the eye was not even remotely necessary, and wasn't being considered as an option. "Relief" doesn't cover that one. (And jeers to that stupid vet who initially told me that was the 'only option.' She only suggested this eye clinic when I literally begged her, "Isn't there anything else we can do?" Even then she was skeptical, saying she didn't think the graft surgery would work on Tyler. I'm not saying all vets should know everything, but they certainly ought to familiarize themselves with the expertise of such local specialty clinics, so they can give people their real options, instead of doomsday predictions that there is no need for!).

Anyway, this doctor said that normally there'd be a couple options, that lesions less deep than his could be healed without surgery. However, since Tyler's was so deep and so dangerous, he recommended emergency surgery, today.

He said he could do a graft, using membrane from the underside of his eye, to basically place a patch over the hole. This would seal it up, and render it instantly less dangerous. Though the hole would still be there, that stabilizes things enough that he's no longer in danger of blowing out his eye with a sneeze. Then over time, the inside will heal, and actually fill back in. It won't always stay a big huge hole in his eye, with a tiny membrane of patch holding it together. It would still be somewhat fragile for a month or so (but far less than it was without the surgery), but eventually it would heal completely.

Of course this was the pivotal "we have but one choice." I didn't even question them too much about the dangers of Tyler being anesthetized, because - it had to be attempted. There was nothing else to do, just leaving it as is was no option. Tyler'd have practically had to have been bound hand and foot (or, I guess, foot and foot) to keep him from doing anything that might jar his head ... and that still couldn't have precluded him ever sneezing. I'd have had to quit my job and carry him around in swaddling 24/7 to let that lesion heal without surgery.

No, leaving it alone was not an option.

Oh, and the two other vets I'd taken him to here totally missed the boat. They said it was 'just' an infection, and kept prescribing antibiotics (which weren't working). Well, while some infection had set in, what it was actually, was 'dry eyes' - a condition where the tear ducts simply quit producing tears. His eyes were literally just drying up. And it was that condition which set the stage for the ulcerative lesion (which is where the bacteria come in; a small ulcer forms from the dryness, then bacteria get in it, and then basically just start eating away at the eye). There was a second lesion beginning in his other eye, but it was still so mild that the vet said it would heal just by use of the medications he prescribed, without getting to the condition the other one did. But they never caught that ... and I could have given him antibiotics till the world ended, and it wouldn't have done any good without treating the underlying problem - the lack of tear production. Worse, had I let the 3rd vet just remove his right eye, in a not too distant time we'd have been facing the same dilemma in his left eye, since it, too, was forming a lesion - that wasn't being treated.

The eye clinic did their own blood work (as his last batch was too old for them to rely on), and fortunately it came back absolutely perfect. They said they'd rarely seen blood work so perfect in a dog his age. Which, the anesthesiologist told me, indicated to her that he would have no problems at all. She said the blood work really told all when it came to how well a dog could handle a surgical procedure.

They had to wait for their appointments for the day to be done, to do the emergency surgery after hours. They started it about 5:30 and it was done by 6:30. They said Tyler did amazingly well, good blood pressure, no problems at all.

And the doctor said it was a complete success, actually a textbook example of both the type of lesion, and the surgery to correct it.

He's got a bit of recovery to go through, of course. He's got a bunch of eye meds he needs. He's got to wear one of those stupid Elizebethan collars, and the style they gave him particularly sucks - a hard plastic that fastens with Velcro. Not impressed. (although the way he's been banging around in his crate since I put him to bed a little bit ago, it's probably a good thing it's such hard plastic - the softer kind like he had with his abdominal surgery a few years ago, he'd have managed to bend in and probably wreck his eye by now).

We were able to bring him home tonight, no overnight stay. He's been doing pretty well (except for this extreme agitation about being crated, but keeping him safe is the utmost priority now, and at night, that is the safest place for him). The coming fully out of the anesthesia is always weird for him, he starts whining incessantly, as if he's trying to talk. He shouldn't really be in any pain as they gave him stuff for that. It's just rough, with good reason. He should be doing much better tomorrow.

And a bonus: the doctor and his anesthesiologist both told me there's no reason he can't go ahead and go to North Carolina this weekend! They said, of course, that I have to be very careful and gentle with him, and make sure he gets all of his meds at the right times, keep the collar on him, and crate him any time I'm not going to be in the house with him. But they said there's really no reason not to take him, it's just as safe as staying home and taking all those same precautions, which have to be done no matter where he is. In fact, to me, it's probably safer - because if I were at home, I'd have to go to work, leaving him alone in the crate quite awhile each day. This way, I will be spending 24/7 with him, able to watch him much more carefully, and give him a lot more love and attention. (and doing it all with an awesome ocean view!)

Normally they'd do a post-surgery check in one week, but they said it's fine to do it at 2 weeks instead (since I won't be back until almost 2 weeks are up). They said the complication rate for this surgery is less than 5%, so if I do everything I'm supposed to do, care and medication-wise, the chances of there being any problems are almost nil.

Wow. So I went from intense fear of both what he might be facing, and concern about not getting to go on vacation - to Tyler's prognosis being very good, and still getting to go to the coast.

I said 'barely' dodged the bullet, because as I said, had this gone on even one more day, it could have been disastrous. And I said 'at a cost' because, first, there's Tyler's suffering of having to go through surgery and then this long recovery period (he has to wear that stupid collar for 2 weeks, and it will be up to a month before his eye's healed enough to really not be at risk for damage from any rubbing or scratching he might do). And second, this surgery cost a small fortune. But, I don't care. That's why I have a savings account - for emergencies. This certainly was one, and he's definitely worth it.

And, I'm beyond exhausted from the last couple days. So I believe I'll toddle off to bed now.

But my previous post stands ... not going to bother worrying about anything anymore, I'll just wait to get blindsided by something else. Will save a lot of trouble. And I'm grateful for this outcome, I really am. (though pretty pissed at the 3 other local vets I saw who (a) misdiagnosed this; (b) mis-treated it; then (c) offered me a horrific 'only' solution that wasn't).

Why Worry Is Worthless; or, How Tyler's Week From Hell Just Got Worse

I've always been a worrier, I know that. I think I inherited it from my mother, who was the same way.

I've finally learned a really valuable lesson. There's absolutely no point in it - not just because it's unhealthy or serves no real purpose. No, for a totally different reason.

Because the really bad things that happen are not the things I ever worried about, ever even thought to worry about. They are things that completely blindside me with no forewarning whatsoever, that I never even considered.

I've been varying degrees of concerned over Tyler's health for several years, since he started getting older. I'd worry about his kidney function, or his heart murmur, or his needing his teeth cleaned and having to be anesthetized to do it (increasingly risky as a dog gets older). I worried about his eyesight getting worse. I worried about his present eye infection and difficulties getting around causing him grief on our trip to North Carolina. For that matter, I worried about a hurricane coming along and derailing our beach vacation.

Last night when I came home from work, and went to put his medicine in his eyes, I noticed something horrifying. It looked like he had a hole in his right eye. I immediately took him to the vet, and that's exactly what it was. She said he'd developed an ulcer in his eye, usually caused by extremely dry eye conditions - like those inherent in an eye infection such as he had. In his case, the ulcer had become so severe it had literally eaten a hole through his eye.

Worse, there may be nothing to be done about it. Her first suggestion was to surgically remove the eye. That was about the most horrifying thing I'd ever experienced, and I asked her if there wasn't any other option? She mentioned this eye clinic in Akron - the same one I'd been considering taking him to for several months to see if he'd be a candidate for cataract surgery. She said sometimes they could do a grafting procedure which would save the eye, though not restore any sight. She didn't know whether he'd be able to have it done, but acquiesced when I said I'd at least like to check and see, before just adopting the far more dire last resort.

So she's going to call them as soon as they open this morning, then call me and let me know if they'll see him, and when. It'll be today, because that's one thing that has to happen -whatever is going to be done, there's no time to ponder over it - it has to be done immediately. She said these things are extremely painful, and also - though she didn't spell it out, she gave me the indication that if it's ignored for any length of time, it can get worse and cause far more serious problems. (I can't imagine what could be more serious than this, but she told me to make sure I put the antibiotic ointment in the eye "ceaselessly" - as often as I possibly can - so I assume infection's a big risk).

So you see - that was sure as hell something that had never, ever, in my worst nightmares, crossed my mind as even existing as a possibility. So all the things I worried about were a waste of time, as - once again - I'm blindsided by the horrific that I didn't even know existed.

I have no idea what's going to happen. The vet did tell me that if I opt for (or he has to have) the surgery to remove his eye, apparently - supposedly - it's not that big a deal to dogs. She fluffed it off as a relatively routine surgery, she said in fact they'd done two of them already this month. She said that if it's done in the morning, he can come home the same day. One of the dogs they'd done this surgery on this month was an older Yorkie, and she said he was barking, jumping and happy after he came out of the anesthesia - because he was in so much pain before the surgery, that to him, he wasn't fretting over the loss of an eye, but rejoicing because the pain was gone.

Tyler's probably been in a similar amount of pain and I just didn't know it, because he's always been very 'stiff upper lip' about pain, pretty much keeping it to himself, not whining or showing obvious signs of it. Despite that I've been looking at his eyes every day for weeks, I saw no sign of this at all until Monday night. But it must have been lurking under the surface, and I just couldn't see it, as I doubt it was something that happened all in one day, on Monday. I curse the vet I saw on Friday, as he didn't even examine Tyler's eyes up close - just basically looked at them on the outside, from a distance - and maybe if he had, he'd have seen this. But ... who knows if even then it wouldn't have been too late, and second-guessing isn't going to solve anything now.

She also pointed out that since Tyler's mostly blind anyway, the loss of the eye wouldn't - again - be any loss to him, but instead would be more of a gain, as he'd be out of pain.

So according to the vet this wouldn't be a 'big deal' to Tyler. I can't begin to say whether I think that's true or not, because I'm personally too absolutely horrified by the prospect to get past that.

Basically I think there's just no point in even thinking past the next five minutes, anymore. And as for vacation - that's totally up in the air, for me at least. The vet said that if I opted for the eye removal surgery, there was no reason he couldn't still go on the trip this weekend ... I'd just have to be prepared to care for him very carefully, but he should be fine.

But I'd much prefer that he can have the Akron procedure, which would probably preclude going at all. And regardless of which he has, I'm not sure going on a trip like that with him just having had such surgery is really a good idea at all, despite what the vet says.

Believe me, I'd willingly give up the vacation if Tyler's eye can be salvaged ... but it may come down to the worst of both worlds, regardless - losing his eye and not getting to go on my annual, much-looked-forward-to trip to the coast. (I can't just reschedule the trip, because by the time I miss all the work I'm going to miss for this, I won't have any vacation time left; the two other people who are going probably can't both coordinate the rescheduling of their vacations too; and, if we don't go, we'll probably lose the money we paid for the beach house, as although I bought trip insurance, and it does cover inability to travel due to illness, I'm pretty sure that only counts if it's humans - I don't believe the insurance covers illness of a pet that we planned to take with us).

Five minutes at a time. That's all I'm bothering with any more.

UPDATE. The local vet called awhile ago. She spoke to the ophthalmologist specialist in Akron. She told him Tyler's condition, his medical history, his age, all of it - and the specialist said he'd see Tyler today at 2:45 (because he's in surgery all morning). He said that grafting might be an option, and he also said - "sometimes these things heal on their own." That was news that I never expected. I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up with that, but it's damned near impossible. (hope is almost as evil as worry) She did say, and I didn't imagine or extrapolate this, that he sounded "optimistic." And he knew the worst of it, including Tyler's age and about his existing cataracts. So .... I'll know more later today.

Five minutes at a time. Just that, no more.

Tyler's Personal Hell Week

Tyler's had a bad week. And so, therefore, have I. Actually this started a few weeks ago, but peaked this week.

Sometime near the end of August three things hit Tyler all at once. First, after being allergy-free for a year and a half, the allergies returned with a vengeance. He was biting, scratching, chewing, and pawing at his face constantly - he was miserable.

I wasn't sure what caused it, as I've never been sure what caused it. He is apparently uber sensitive to fleas - more than just the average annoyance, he has like a violent reaction to them. But I hadn't seen any fleas on him or in the house, and he hadn't had any since we left the old place.

The second thing that happened is he began having trouble with his eyes. They were super itchy, and this icky discharge was gumming them up. I figured it was because of the allergies.

The third thing was more disturbing. This seemed to happen abruptly, just like, he woke up like this one morning. He became completely unable to navigate around the house. He couldn't move anywhere without walking into something - the walls, the furniture, everything in his path. It was as if you'd taken a dog with sight, made him blind, then put him in an unfamiliar environment.

He's had cataracts for some years, and I knew his sight was pretty bad. Initially I thought maybe his eyes had finally totally bitten the dust - that he went from 'mostly' blind to 'totally' blind.

But he'd always navigated around the house more or less fine, even with the cataracts worsening over time. Also, everything I'd read or been told said that when dogs lose their sight, it's not really that traumatic to them, and if they are in a familiar environment, they adapt very well. Nothing in Tyler's environment had changed (we especially hadn't moved any walls!) so if it was just his eyesight finally going out completely, that wouldn't explain his sudden confusion and loss of navigation skills.

I still thought it was a sight problem, though, so initially I went to the pet store and got some sterile eye rinse to help with the itchiness and discharge in his eyes. I also had some antibiotic ointment for his eyes, as he'd had a brief round of this back in the summer, which had cleared up quickly. So I used that again.

But none of that worked, and last weekend he'd gotten worse, so Monday I took him to the vet. The vet said it was an eye infection and to keep using the ointment. But as for the loss of navigation skills, the vet thought he might have CDS - Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome, or "Doggy Alzheimer's." Well, that kind of sucked.

But he said there's a good medicine for it that has proven to work well, called Anipryl. He said we'd try it for a month, and see how he did.

The odd thing was, the very next morning he was better - he navigated through the house just as he has been doing for the past year and a half, without any real problems. I wondered if it even was CDS, since the medication shouldn't have worked that fast - he'd only had the one dose - and it should take up to two weeks to see any improvement.

Unfortunately, in exchange for that, his eyes got much worse. By Thursday night he had just stopped opening them at all. He simply refused to open them, no matter what he was doing - which made him go back to walking into everything constantly. He was practically squinting them shut, he reminded me a little of Mr. Magoo.

When he still wouldn't even open his eyes on Friday morning, I decided he had to go back to the vet.

This time they told me to continue the antibiotic ointment, but also prescribed an oral antibiotic too, and some artificial tears to help keep his eyes lubricated.

The change has been remarkable. In just one day his eyes have really cleared up, and he'll now keep them mostly open most of the time. He's been trotting around the house with almost no issues at all (a beautiful thing!). We've gone for walks, during which he trotted the whole time, as if he felt fine. His navigation problems appear to be gone, or mostly gone.

So, finally, I think he's on the mend. He's still itchy, though, and the vet did find a flea on him - just one, but there's rarely 'just one.' He said this is a particularly bad year for them. That particularly sucks, because I've always tried to avoid inundating Tyler with chemical flea treatments, as I don't think putting chemicals in his body is good for him. But if fleas have finally invaded our new yard and home, I may have to resort to that stuff - because he's miserable with the constant itching.

One other piece of news: I've always tried to treat Tyler holistically and very healthily - home cooked food, no chemicals, etc. The vets I've taken him to have ranged from not really minding that I do it but not really understanding it, to downright against it. Now that he's starting to have more problems, I've decided that this holistic thing - especially nutrition and his diet - is starting to get beyond my skill. So I scheduled him an appointment with a holistic vet over in Beaver, PA next month.

Hopefully this vet can help me get Tyler back on track and keep him as healthy as possible with his current issues, and can also advise me on the flea problem. I'm also going to talk to him about the CDS ... as I said, it's supposed to take up to 2 weeks for that medicine to have any effect, and the fact that Tyler instantly got better when his eyes cleared up makes me wonder if it's CDS, or just that his eyes were so screwed up, and he was too miserable to open them or think clearly. I'm not going to just arbitrarily take him off of it - seeing him like that was awful, and I know he was stressed and unhappy about it as well - but I am going to talk to the new vet about whether there might be a way to test-wean him off of it, and see whether he really needs it. Not only do I not like giving Tyler any medication he doesn't need, but it's also ungodly expensive (a month's worth was $85!). If he needs it, I have no problem getting it for him - but I sure don't want to keep him on it if not.

I'm glad Tyler's feeling better, because next weekend we're OFF TO THE BEACH!!!! A thousand times yay! Tyler goes with us on this trip, and I hoped he'd be able to enjoy it - to feel okay, and have his eyes cleared up, and not be walking into everything or confused. It will be somewhat challenging for him anyway, with his cataracts - adjusting to the new home for a week has always had its moments of walking into things, but for the most part he's done really well with it, and learns his way around quickly. But adding the problem of any cognitive dysfunction (if there is any) would just make it really hard. But I'm hopeful he'll do fine with it.

As a treat for him, and for the trip (to have some place both comfortable and familiar for him to sleep), I bought him a new doggy bed tonight. Well, he climbed into it when I brought it home, and the only thing he's gotten out of it for was dinner. I think he's in love, and I may have a difficult time getting him out of it to go outside tonight!


But I'm glad he likes it - he's always been very picky about dog beds. When he was younger, I bought him several dog beds that he wanted nothing to do with, and would never sleep in. Apparently I picked a good one this time. Well, that, and he's much more all about the comfort anymore - which is fine, he deserves it.

More Dining Room Progress.

I did end up going back and getting a sample bottle of paint in the other trim color, the one I'd first picked out and then got nervous it was too dark. I should have followed my first intuition.

Before ...


After ...



Well, only the vertical strip is done; when I took this picture I hadn't done the top yet, or the door trim (that strip in the far right side of the picture). But I decided I liked the darker color much better, so I've since finished painting the entire window trim that color. I haven't done the door yet. Maybe after we install the door.

I also cleaned everything out of the dining room that didn't belong there, and ... ta-da ... fixed the dining room table! We now have a bonified dining room!


I'd always thought fixing the table was going to be something complex that I couldn't do myself. Ha. I crawled under it and looked today, and it's just a cross-piece that was loose in it's slot. I fixed it with some shims. It's probably not a thorough permanent fix, it'll probably become somewhat loose again, especially if we lean on the table a lot while eating (which I tend to do). But it'll work for now, and we're planning to replace the table soon anyway.

There's still lots to do, but ... even just having this much done has made a HUGE difference in here! I can't get over how much nicer it looks.

So, woo-hoo! A real place to eat meals. And it only took a year and 8 months.

Progress. Has. Ensued.

As I've said many times before, I'm so sick of nothing getting done around here. We've lived here a year and a half, and it just feels like nothing's getting done!

I know that's not entirely true. We've done a lot. But it doesn't feel like much, probably because I keep hopping from project to project without ever really finishing anything. It's a constant source of frustration (and undermines what progress we have made) that every room in the house is some degree of 'not done.' The dining room, the bedrooms, the living room - there isn't one room that's finished, comfortable and inviting.

I finally figured out that if I want these rooms to be 'done', I had to get busy, get motivated, and focus on just one room at a time - and keep focusing on that room until it was done, and ignore all the other projects clamoring for my attention.

My first choice was the dining room, which was the least done room in the house - and the one with, by far, the most issues. It's also a room I spend a whole lot of time in, as it's my main hang-out room on the first floor. And, I'm sick to death of having (allegedly) a dining room, but having no place to eat a meal, except at the island in the kitchen, or downstairs on the couch with my plate on a chair in front of me. I was finding it increasingly ridiculous to have a house this big, and no 'real' place to eat. (Why haven't we used the dining room? Because the table that's in there is broken - you can't put any weight on it or the top tilts annoyingly; it's just there because we never bothered to fix it or put it anywhere else).

I made up my mind that this room was going to be done (complete with nice table and seating accommodations) before the holidays. Before Thanksgiving.

So ... this weekend I dived seriously into the dining room.

Now, I'd come to a second realization about the house projects. One of the reasons nothing was getting finished was because there was so much to do that I'd get overwhelmed before I even started. So I made up my mind that I had to wrap my head around the idea of just doing one or two small things at a time, not getting overwhelmed, and slowly, by baby steps, it would all get done.

So it all started with just wanting to make some new curtains for the window. That's it ... just curtains. How hard can that be? I just decided that the place to start was by getting rid of the damned vertical blinds (which we couldn't close anymore anyway, because the credenza's in the way) and the crappy, dirty, plain vanilla valance that has been up there since we moved in. Just that. Just make new curtains.

Mushrooming ensued.

I decided to use a pattern for the curtains, because I wanted something a little 'special,' a little off the beaten path, and didn't trust my make-it-up-as-you-go-along abilities in that arena. Finding a pattern I liked proved to be challenging, but eventually I did.

That was Saturday. I was going to go ahead and buy the fabric the same day, but realized I had forgotten to bring a sample of the wall paint with me - and as it's an odd shade of green, I wanted to make sure that I bought fabric that went with it. I decided to go home, read over the pattern instructions so I could make sure I got everything I needed, and go back the next day with my paint sample.

Sunday I went fabric shopping. I wanted something unique. Well, I found it. But more on that in a minute.

I started the curtains on Sunday afternoon. This took most of the rest of that day.

But part-way through making the curtain, it dawned on me - oh crap, it won't do any good to put these beautiful new curtains up on that crappy wall. You see, when we painted the dining room before, we only painted three walls. The fourth wall - the outside wall, with the window and door, had a better quality paneling on it, it was actually kind of pretty (though dark). We thought we might toy with the idea of keeping that as paneling.

Some time ago I'd decided that wasn't going to work, as the room looked kind of stupid with three walls painted a light green, and one wall a very dark paneling. But I'd never gotten around to painting it. When I first thought about curtains, I initially only thought about curtains (baby steps, remember). So I never thought about the wall - until I found such pretty material, then started caring what the rest of the wall looked like.

So, I decided to paint the fourth wall before I put the curtains up. But then I realized I'd also have to paint the window trim for it to do any good - the trim in that room was also very, very dark wood grain - it isn't even all wood, some of it is plastic made to look like wood. Very tacky with my nice new curtains.

But we'd never picked out trim color yet, so we didn't have that paint.

Okay - so now, paint the fourth wall, and pick out trim color, and go to Home Despot and pick up the trim paint, and then paint the trim. And then finish the curtains.

Did I mention there was mushrooming?

But ... after working on the curtain for hours Sunday, then working on the dining room and finishing the curtain from about 8:00 a.m. till about 6:00 p.m. Monday, it turned out to be SO extremely worth it! I was astounded at how well things turned out.

Here's the overview shot. We still haven't replaced the door, but that's in the works. This picture doesn't really do the curtains justice.



They're even lined, and have this neat piping trim. I've never made lined curtains before, and never successfully used piping either, but this went really well.



I love this little detail, too, though it barely shows up in the photo - there's a place where I ran blue cord through two buttonholes sewn into the curtain, and gathered it up, and tied the cord - it's a nice little touch.



So now you can see why I was so pleased with the stuff I found. Although I would never have thought of "paisley" when thinking about the dining room curtains, this turned out perfect. The 'theme' of the dining room is 'beach house' - and the swirly-ness of the paisley makes me think of water or the ocean - perfectly appropriate. The colors are absolutely perfect for this room. Though there isn't a lot of green, what is there matches our odd-shade green walls. The fabric has a lot of blue and shades of beige in it, and those are two of the trim colors we'd been considering anyway. The lining fabric reminds me of sand. So the whole thing was just perfect.

When I first hung these up, I was amazed. I'd seen them come together, I knew how nice they looked - but somehow, hanging them up made it more than the sum of its parts. I was astounded at how great they looked. Heck, they look like professional-made curtains, with that trim and lining. Yeah, I'm kind of inordinately pleased with myself over this.

I am not entirely happy with the trim color we picked out, though. I had picked out something a little darker - almost the same color of the piping trim on the curtains - but got nervous it'd be too dark, so went a few shades lighter. Now I kind of wish I'd gotten the darker, and may very well go back and get that instead. While I want it to look 'beach-housy,' I didn't want it to look so pastel candy-coated.

I'd mentioned the door's in the works - we've picked out a new door, just have to get it and install it. It's got a full center glass panel, top to bottom - to let in more light, as this room's so dark. That's why I didn't bother painting the door (though I considered it) - I figured, why waste the time (when I'd already been working on this project for 10 hours today alone) when we're going to be replacing the door so soon.

Then we have to buy the top molding, paint that, and install it. Primer and paint the ceiling. There's still baseboard to pick out and get, and trim paint for that.

Then there's the really expensive component of this room - I want a banquette. It's sort of like booth seating, with benches with backs that go around one corner of the room, then a rectangle shaped table, with chairs on the other side. That's going to be the priciest thing in this renovation, but ... I decided it's far smarter in our case to buy it instead of trying to build it.

Lots to do before Thanksgiving, but I have faith.