Saturday, February 19, 2011

No Good News

Originally the vet that examined Tyler suggested we start with surgery to remove the tumor - she believed it could potentially all be removed, and that it would give him immediate relief as far as the difficulty in swallowing. Then we'd see about chemo or radiation. That surgery was scheduled for yesterday.

But yesterday, about half an hour after I dropped him off, the surgeon called. He had not previously examined Tyler, and when he did, he said it was his belief the tumor went much deeper than originally thought, that it was probably well into the deep tissue around Tyler's esophagus, and that he would not be able to remove anywhere near all of it. He would not be able to remove the part that was causing difficulty swallowing, so that problem would remain. Also, he found a lymph node near Tyler's shoulder that was enlarged, and if the cancer had moved into the lymph nodes, it made surgery that much less likely to really do any good.

For those reasons, he didn't recommend subjecting Tyler to the difficulty and risk of the surgery, so we didn't proceed with that.

After spending several long minutes telling me how these things usually don't have any good outcome, how often when treatment is pursued it just makes things worse, the surgeon then kind of turned the conversation a bit sideways and said that he'd consult with another oncologist and let me know whether they thought this would respond, even just on a short term basis, to any chemo or radiation. His take seemed to be that it would not, so I'm unsure why he basically volunteered that route at all, but ... since it's not changing, hurting, or delaying anything good, I'm willing to at least ask. I mean, the alternative is to do nothing, which is what we're doing while we wait anyway, so it doesn't change anything.

Unfortunately, I do not believe this is going to have any good outcome. I don't think, from what they're telling me, that any chemo or radiation is really going to help. I never intended to put Tyler through any procedures that would be uncomfortable or make him sick or miserable, only to maybe add a few weeks to his life. I'm not of the mind set to "drag this on at all costs." I would be, as I desperately don't want to let him go - but for the fact that I don't want him to be sick and miserable and uncomfortable. I can't do that to him.

He had to come off his prednisone a couple days before the surgery, and I saw how miserable he was - weak, shaking, not eating. I told them yesterday, if I'm going to bring him home to wait to hear from this oncologist, he has to have something to make him feel better. They've put him on a pain medication which did help a lot. He was more like his old self last night, following us around, interested in what was going on around him, and he ate well.

I know that status quo won't maintain for long, but I have no idea how long. I haven't talked to them yet about whether they have any idea how this is going to develop, but it does seem things are moving much more quickly than they were ... I mean, if this started way last summer and took this long to even develop enough to be noticeable, but then in just two weeks he went from no lump, to a big lump, that has grown even more in two weeks, and then lymph nodes showing up involved - it sounds like it's not taking it's time anymore.

It's just a crazy-making kind of situation at this point. It really, really, really sucks.

No comments: