My Thoughts On The "Imminent Pandemic"

I can't help myself. I've been persuing the web for days reading up on swine flu ... oh, excuse me, H1N1 ... and there's so much confusing and contradictory information out there, I just felt compelled to gather some of the more useful information and post it here in one place.

First of all, you need to know where the outbreaks are occurring. You can start with the Google swine flu outbreak map if you have access to your computer. Or, you can use the iPhone 'swine flu tracker app' so you can panic anywhere, in real time.

Once you've established that there has been an outbreak in your community (or county, state, country, continent, or planet, depending on how sensitive your panic trigger is), the next thing to do is watch for symptoms. How exactly do you know what to watch for? Fortunately, this video will help you identify early warning signs.



If you're still unsure, get a more definitive answer at the website "DoIHavePigFlu.com". Or, to double check, try "DoIHaveSwineFlu.org".

If you're wondering how this all started, you'll be glad to know that they have, in fact, tracked down "patient zero."



Of course, an "H1Z1" mutation was inevitable. It always is.

And if you do get infected, during your quarantine do some online shopping at CafePress for some original "Swine Flu Wear" to cheer yourself up. A few of my favorites are this one and this one.

Well, that's all I have time for today. If more developments ... er, develop, I'll be sure to post them when I get around to it. If I'm not too sick to drag myself to the computer ... if the pandemic hasn't shut down the internet service ... if there's still any electric power ...