Well, things are progressing steadily to shit.
Two weeks ago Tyler was supposed to have surgery, but the surgeon, after examining him, called me and said he didn't think it was a productive idea, so I picked Tyler up and took him home. The surgeon, however, said he'd consult with an oncologist and let me know if there was anything else that might help.
He didn't get back to me until last Thursday. Then he sounded encouraged, as he said the oncologist had reported to him that surgery often does help in this type of cancer (they're assuming it's a salivary gland cancer, due to it's location and symptoms, though the biopsy itself was inconclusive as to the specific type). So the surgeon decided that surgery was back on the menu for possible treatments. He wasn't available last Friday, so it was scheduled for this Friday.
But in the meantime, the lump had changed - it had gotten bigger, and kind of weirder - I didn't know how else to explain that, but it'll make sense in a minute.
The vet who first diagnosed him with cancer, "Dr. Brenda", wasn't the one who was going to do the surgery. But she was much easier to talk to (the surgeon often confused me, as he had a weird habit of talking in circles, saying contradictory things, and not making any sense to me). So I had decided that before the surgery, I wanted another appointment with Dr. Brenda to get some questions answered (with a straight answer rather than a circular one) and make the best decision.
That appointment was tonight. She examined Tyler with grim results. The tumor had not only grown, but it had "solidified" - what I had called "gotten weirder" - the way she explained it was, before, it was kind of wobbly and not that firmly attached to anything - implying what she thought was a reasonably decent chance of removing most of it. But now it's much more solid - it's just a big solid mass in his neck now, as opposed to a wobbly marble-shaped thing like it was a few weeks ago - which indicates to her that it's more entrenched into the deep soft tissue of the neck, embedded around the jugular and other veins and nerves in that area - which made the likelihood of successfully removing any significant portion of it much smaller. Also, with that enlarged lymph node in Tyler's shoulder, that meant it had spread. And, with all of this happening in the time frame it did, it indicated the cancer had gotten extremely aggressive.
All of this led Dr. Brenda to believe - when I pushed her for a blunt assessment - that surgery really wouldn't accomplish anything. It might buy at most a few weeks, but Tyler would be at great risk in this surgery, and I knew from personal experience that he'd probably have a very rough recovery. (Even though his eye surgery went extremely well from a medical standpoint, he did have a tough and disorienting recovery from that).
To buy a few weeks, but have Tyler suffering, it wasn't worth it. Right now he still feels good. Just last Sunday when I had him outside, he was running through the yard. Not fast, but
running. He felt so good we went for a walk down the block, and he really enjoyed it - trotting, taking side trips to check out interesting scents ... he had a really good day.
I wasn't much surprised by Dr. Brenda's assessment, as I'd already kind of had a gut feeling that this surgery wasn't a good idea and wasn't going to happen. I was tempted to bitch that if the surgeon had done the surgery two weeks ago, things would be different, but I have the deep feeling that's not true. Things had already begun progressing (there was that should lymph node thing even then), and the surgeon had told me even then that he didn't believe he could remove it all. If it was being this aggressive, then taking out only a portion of it wouldn't have really solved anything, but would have made Tyler miserable, subjecting him to the dangers of surgery and a difficult recovery to buy - what - maybe a couple of weeks? Not worth it. Like I said, he's been feeling good the last two weeks. He wouldn't have had that if he'd had the surgery.
So I think that really, not doing the surgery is the best thing for him, ultimately. It was no cure, but just something to buy time ... but at the cost, not time of any value for him.
Then I pressed Dr. Brenda for a time frame, how this is going to progress and what I can expect - and she told me the bad news. She said we're looking at probably a few weeks to a month or so. That's it.
I held up really well until she said "Now is the time to just spoil him, feed him whatever he wants, and just love on him." Well, I can do that.
She did give me a prescription for a medication (I have to get at a regular pharmacy) which is a high-dosage aggressive treatment drug - it won't cure him, but it will help keep things comfortable for as long as possible. (That's what gets us maybe a month instead of, like, 2 weeks - I'll take it as long as he's feeling okay).
So, that's where things are. I'm pretty heartbroken, but at the moment I'm relatively calm. (well ... relatively ... ). I'm sure I'll be a wreck later, but for now, I have a direction and a goal - spoil the hell out of Tyler. So that's what I'm doing. A plan, any plan, does help.
